Friday, June 27, 2008

Motivational Video Lemonade Diet Part Two convert youtube vids

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Always consult a doctor before doing a diet. This is a comedy on dieting but I'm also dieting and having fun with it. My goal is to be a size 6 but for now size 8 by Easter. Highest weight 167. My Lowest weight 115. I will add on later to this post on reasons why I gained weight.
Okay here goes: Cakes, cookies even gops of creme in coffee all good all sweet all satisfying. Perhaps it's the sweetness. Perhaps Having a real evil deceiptful appearing to be sweet person in my life caused this. There are things that bother a person and it carries on even after the events. Every once in awhile there is something to remind you of it and to appease that deceipt you go for something sweet. Explain this one for me. Awhile back I had gotten a job as a art teacher. This sweet deceiptful person that I call Rightgeous Rita knew of a position and she also thought my daughter being there would benefit. It was the most creative summer jobever. I was able to follow along a book with plans and also incorporate my own ideas. I loved the Christian Church. there was a piano there and after camp was over I played a little. My daughter looked up to me. How cool was it to have a mother who was an art teacher. I taught children up to 5th grade. Rightgeous Rita was very close to the supervisor. Chummy of chummies. When the summer was over a teacher's aid position was open. I was in consideration and after all the hell I had gone to.. raising my daughter as a single mother and relocating...this was a window of opportunity to going back and being in my field. Rightgeous Rita was concerned that I was the right candidate. I wasn't a member of the church and not a Christian and would I say prayers in the morning with the class? I had before and prior to all the BS I was actually going to commit to the church. I thought everyone there was good. Alas I saw the evil. Rightgeous Rita got the job and she also made sure my child knew I didn't get the job because I wasn't a Christian. Rightgeous Rita didn't need the money. I know this because Rightgeous Rita is my stepmother.
I ended up getting a job as a waitress making 2.13 an hour. My whole perception of reality changed and if I smoked a few duppees and drank an extra rajun cajun at the time don't blame me....I was dealing with this deception. I don't do drugs now but for a short period those dupees gave me the giggles. I don't advocate drugs. they make you paranoid although my paranoia was legit with this woman and duppes make you lose your memory and for a short time that betrayal was forgotten. From time to time this woman worked to undermine my parental authority. Two years ago she did something that literally killed my soul, my heart and all I ever worked for. It nearly destroyed me and I still cry aboutwhat she did to me. I lost custody of my daughter because of it. I didn't have a lawyer to defend myself. I had to defend myself. The whole thing started because my daughter and I had a big fight over her cleaning her room and doing the dishes at night. All teenagers are rebellious but Rightgeous Rita took this opportunity to alienate my daughter from me. My daughter even quoted in her deposition that I was a slacker and since I was a stay at home mother Rightgeous Rita and everyone supporting her custody change said... that was my job to clean her room and do the dishes. What ever happened to doing your load of the work? You make the mess you clean up the mess? Everyone share's in the load? Remember I couldn't afford a lawyer. I was denied a lawyer and I wasn't prepared. 14 years of volunteering in school, helping her in her homework, taking her back and forth to school paying for dance classes, paying for karate working crazy jobs to make ends meet. It's as if I had never existed. Worst of all the custody fight happened when hurricane Wilma hit us in Florida. Using humour helps but there is a serious side of me too. One day I pray to God my daughter will see through her deception but she looks up to her like a role model instead of her mother...me So if I ate for comfort I was comforting my soul. I was figurately crucified and my sin was love and teaching my child responsibility.
Enough said for now except this...when I first had my daughter and moved down here
Jesus told Rightgeous rita she should adopt my daughter. I had gotten a college degree, worked in my field. I just needed
to financially recover. I didn't have a car at the time. I was still going through the hormonal changes after having a baby. She never forgave me for not allowing this adoption. I paid for it years to come and no matter how hard I tried to be the best mom she did everything to better me. Like I said her last blow nearly killed me. But as you can see I'm coming back. Although I'm not a "Christian" I believe in God and one day I will find him and I hope someday He'll set things right.

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